My Thoughts on Then and Now Pictures

The "then" picture is hard for me to look at. I never felt I was that big or that out of shape. I can't really say what that was due to, I watch the shows where the person is crying and spilling their feelings saying that they saw themselves in an old photo and knew that they had to do something about it. The problem for me is that I see myself as that big guy now. My thoughts, feeling, and attitude is that of my past person. I can't seem to shake it, it doesn't matter how many people say how much I've changed. I feel now the way I should have felt then. I look at the way I ate or my overall activity level and I'm a ashamed. What kept me from getting bigger is that fact that I did play a little soccer and softball. In the past I could eat an entire large pizza or a big bag of chips with no problem. I'm not much of a person who eats sweets, but I know I can go hard on salty foods, I still can. When I eat pizza I want to eat the entire thing because that is what I use to do, I don't think it will fit, but in my head I want to finish it. 

I don't think that I've gone about it the wrong way changing my lifestyle. Instead of cutting things out completely I tried to cut down on them, instead of going out to eat I try to find a way of making it myself. I think I've become somewhat of a decent cook, at least I can tolerate my food. There is one of the reasons why I don't really give out any tips. Everyone one is different, and have different goals and different motivations. I just try and want to put out there what I do and maybe some people can see it's not that difficult and want to do the same.

When I look at the "now" picture, I don't believe what I see. I'm not trying to toot my horn or anything like that, what I mean is that I don't feel like the person I see. I know all the hard work it took me to get to where I'm at now and I think that is what makes me feel bad about how I let myself go then. I've kept one outfit of what I use to wear and every once in a while I'll try it on and tell myself I don't ever want to go back there. I want to keep at it and transform my body as far as I can and as healthy as possible. 

Thank you for reading this, what I wrote is one of the toughest things for me to put out there to everyone. I'm opening myself up for you, hopefully you can appreciate that.